Everything you thought you knew about what it would be like to lose a spouse is wrong.
46 is too young to die.
Unless or until it happens to you, you will never understand.
That people grieve differently and not to judge the way anyone copes with loss.
That though you expect the world to be less bright, and to be colorless, that it really isn’t.
I know it is awkward to express sympathy and that you don’t know what to say, it’s ok, just being there says it all.
I DO plan to write those thank you notes.
That my wife and I both work for and with great people.
That the biggest impediment to getting through the grieving process is corporate and government bureaucracy,
That my wife touched the lives of a lot more people than I realized.
That without my cat, I don’t know if I could stay in my house.
That my wife and I were both blessed with a great family
Everyone should be an organ donor.
That the things that make you cry are often not what you expect.
That it is ok to smile.
That it is also ok to laugh.
That my marriage was not perfect, but nearly was.
That it is my fault that it wasn’t perfect, because my wife was.
That the people who helped with the funeral service by reading, offering the gifts and carried her to her final rest, will always have a special place in my heart.
That the places you find solace and comfort are many and varied.
That you can still find beauty in the world.
That I have more strength than I thought I had.
That although I have often wondered if I could go on, I know I can because she expects me to.
That while I know I will laugh again, I also know I’ll cry again.
That I have often heard my wife’s voice in my head, and it is usually a quote from “Moonstruck”: “Snap out of it!”
That I am extremely grateful that during our last exchange of words I told my wife I loved her.
That I am grateful that the last thing she said to me was, “I love you”.
